26.6.20 Flushed with Pride

Good afternoon everybody as a rather humid week of the School of Daddy comes to an end. Today the children are learning all about sanitation in an activity that is sure to make their whole week. Here Harry is taking notes on stool size, consistency and concentration of gases in order to assess how effective the simple pit latrine is in dealing with waste products and solid residues. Depending on local weather conditions and the prevalence of thunderstorms, we may also be assessing the efficacy of a simple Pour-Flush Latrine later on...

25.6.20 A Grave Mistake

Good afternoon everybody. We do hope you're all staying safe in the heat and of course, here at the School of Daddy, we take Sun Safety very seriously indeed. Due to the extent of the current heat wave we have taken extra precautions to keep our most vulnerable (ginger) children protected from the Sun's dangerous rays. This of course also presents us with an ideal opportunity to measure and catalogue the psychological damage and physical effects that being buried up to the neck can cause, as we investigate popular punishments of the French Foreign Legion as part of a mini History topic we are looking at at the moment.

24.6.20 Morning Dis-Assembly

Good afternoon and I trust everyone is enjoying the sunshine. We thought we'd take the opportunity for some more outdoor learning by taking a closer look at flat-pack furniture...

23.6.20 Razing Standards

Good afternoon everyone and today we have mostly been learning about... demolition!

22.6.20 Testing Times

Good morning one and all and welcome back to another week in the School of Daddy. Now like all good educationalists, we're always on the lookout for the next educational fad... erm I mean trend. In the past children have benefited immensely from such gems as brain gym, shoe-horning plenaries in to lessons, verbal feedback stamps, learning styles and even lollipop sticks. However, a new trend has arrived on the scene from America and it promises to be a very powerful teaching tool indeed. As it Comes from the POTUS himself, it carries so much intellectual weight that it is inconceivable why anyone would even question its efficacy. As with the Covid pandemic, as POTUS rightly states, testing just finds more cases which is a bad thing. A very bad thing. The worst bad thing, I can tell you. The more cases you have, the worse you look so stop testing. This amazing concept is just as true with teaching. I was originally going to assess the children this morning to see how they were progressing - especially with all the worrying reports that children are falling behind because schools have been shut too long. However, if I don't test them then there's no data either way so everything is fine and targets are met. In fact I've decided to take it a step further - to not even teach anything. Instead the children will be fed a diet of the least demanding TV possible. Donald Rumsfeld once famously spoke of known knowns and known unknowns that we know we don't know. Knowing that we don't know anything is far more achievable than the alternative and requires virtually no testing. The future of education has arrived!

21.6.20 New Uniform Order has Arrived!

So if the School of Daddy didn't sound cult-like enough already... we now have matching T shirts! Thanks to my lovely wife for a great Father's Day present (and the kippers and scrambled egg for breakfast and posh roast beef lunch!) - right, off to eat said lunch and watch Dr Who and the Faceless Ones courtesy of the children 😁

19.6.20 We Woodward if we Could...

Good morning everybody. Today in the School of Daddy we are once more turning to the wonderful world of religion to provide us with knowledge and enlightenment, as it always does, and light is particularly important at the moment as we approach the Summer Solstice. If you are to believe those secular cranks that call themselves scientists, it occurs because the axis of the rotation of the Earth is not aligned with the axis of its motion around the Sun and we will experience the longest day and shortest night with the sun reaching its most Northerly declination at 21:43 GMT on Saturday 20th June. Dreary fact at best and heretical nonsense at worst, I'm sure you will agree. Much more interesting are the religious takes on the Solstice where we can take our pick from celebrating the Sun God dying, jumping through bonfires, over consumption of alcohol, fertility rites, burning human sacrifices to the Sun Goddess Saule or crowning the Oak King before he is defeated for another year by the Holly King as the world returns to the Darkness after the Light. Obviously we will have to keep our studies age appropriate and have elected to celebrate the death of God by building our own Wicker Man. Our crops of fruit from the garden have been a little lacklustre over the years so the children have volunteered to be present when we set alight the pyre beneath our effigy. Fingers crossed we get a few more apples and cherries this year although as Lord Summerisle said, "Animals are fine but there acceptability is limited. A small child is even better but not nearly as effective as the right kind of adult".