22.6.20 Testing Times

Good morning one and all and welcome back to another week in the School of Daddy. Now like all good educationalists, we're always on the lookout for the next educational fad... erm I mean trend. In the past children have benefited immensely from such gems as brain gym, shoe-horning plenaries in to lessons, verbal feedback stamps, learning styles and even lollipop sticks. However, a new trend has arrived on the scene from America and it promises to be a very powerful teaching tool indeed. As it Comes from the POTUS himself, it carries so much intellectual weight that it is inconceivable why anyone would even question its efficacy. As with the Covid pandemic, as POTUS rightly states, testing just finds more cases which is a bad thing. A very bad thing. The worst bad thing, I can tell you. The more cases you have, the worse you look so stop testing. This amazing concept is just as true with teaching. I was originally going to assess the children this morning to see how they were progressing - especially with all the worrying reports that children are falling behind because schools have been shut too long. However, if I don't test them then there's no data either way so everything is fine and targets are met. In fact I've decided to take it a step further - to not even teach anything. Instead the children will be fed a diet of the least demanding TV possible. Donald Rumsfeld once famously spoke of known knowns and known unknowns that we know we don't know. Knowing that we don't know anything is far more achievable than the alternative and requires virtually no testing. The future of education has arrived!